The Truth About the Messy Middle
What if you’re standing in the exact season your becoming requires?
If you’ve been feeling like you’re behind in your life, behind in your purpose, behind in motherhood, behind in your healing, behind in your timeline, I want you to breathe with me for a moment.
Because what if you’re not behind at all?
In Episode 29 of She Rises Through It, we unpack the truth about comparison, imposter syndrome, and the pressure women feel when they’re stepping into a new identity. This blog post deepens that conversation, helping you understand the messy middle. The space between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.
This is where your rise begins.
My Own Messy Middle (The Truth of My Becoming)
My own becoming has held more twists than I ever expected. It hasn’t been linear or polished or predictable. It’s been waves, big ones, carrying me through seasons of clarity and seasons of fear, moments of certainty and moments where I felt completely lost inside my own life.
There have been days I felt unstoppable, like I could rise into anything I touched. And then, without warning:
comparison hits.
imposter syndrome whispers.
doubt creeps in.
That’s the part we don’t talk about enough, the quiet unraveling that happens right when you decide to come back home to yourself.
For me, choosing myself meant returning to my life in a deeper way; to my husband, my children, my truth, my calling. It meant letting go of an identity that once felt safe. It meant stepping into uncertainty without a map.
And I won’t pretend it felt powerful every day. Some days, becoming felt like questioning everything:
Why am I doing this?
Who am I to lead?
What if I’m not enough?
What if no one listens?
What if I fail?
I’ve sat with every one of those thoughts. But here’s what I’ve learned:
Life experiences are the real curriculum.
The messy middle is the classroom. And the discomfort you feel is evidence of your expansion.
Imposter syndrome doesn’t show up because you’re unworthy. It shows up because you’re stepping into someone you’ve never been before.
Comparison doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. It means you’re awakening.
The fear isn’t a flaw, it’s a signal. Your becoming is asking for room. Your rise is asking to be chosen.
And when you allow yourself to feel all of it; the fear, the hope, the uncertainty, the longing, without letting it stop you…
That’s the moment you begin your Rise.
Not because everything feels stable.
Not because you don’t have doubts.
But because you finally understand that you don’t have to be perfect to move forward.
You just have to be willing.
The Messy Middle: The Part No One Talks About
There is a chapter in a woman’s life when everything shifts; identity, purpose, relationships, desires, and the inner knowing of who she is becoming.
It is not about age. It is about identity transition, the sacred in-between.
This season often feels like:
the weight of expectations
burnout from being everything to everyone
questioning the path you’re on
longing for clarity
emotional overwhelm
nervous system fatigue
Yet so few women talk about what this moment actually feels like; the fog, the grief, the ache, the awakening.
The messy middle isn’t a sign you’re falling apart. It’s proof you’re restructuring. Your identity is realigning.
Comparison isn’t failure, it’s information
We’re taught to feel shame around comparison, but comparison actually reveals something deeper:
You don’t compare yourself to women living lives you don’t want.
You compare yourself to women who mirror a part of you you’re ready to meet.
Comparison = desire.
Desire = identity shift.
Identity shift = becoming.
Next time comparison hits, ask:
“What part of me is waking up right now?”
Why Imposter Syndrome Appears During Expansion
Imposter syndrome doesn’t appear when you’re stagnant. It shows up when you’re expanding. It’s a protective response from your nervous system saying:
“I don’t recognize this version of you yet.”
This isn’t evidence you’re unqualified. It’s evidence you’re growing.
Your Nervous System Feels Your Becoming Before Your Mind Understands It
This is why the messy middle feels intense. Your body senses change before your mind can process it. You may feel:
tightness in your chest
overthinking
fatigue
emotional swings
a desire to isolate
bursts of clarity followed by doubt
This is normal. This is your becoming integrating.
Signs You’re Not Behind, You’re Becoming
Here are signs you’re stepping into your next identity:
Comparison intensifies → something is rising
You no longer fit your old life
Your values are shifting
You’re grieving old versions of you
You feel fear + excitement at the same time
You’re imagining a life you haven’t lived yet
None of this means you’re behind. It means you’re rising.
A Journaling Prompt to Deepen Your Becoming
“What is the version of me I keep catching glimpses of and what would happen if I stopped apologizing for wanting her?”
Let whatever comes up be real.
If Your Becoming Needs Space, This Is Where It Begins
If this stirred something inside you, it’s not random. Your becoming is asking for space; space to breathe, reset, and remember who you are.
That’s the intention behind the Rise & Reground Costa Rica Retreat (2026).
It’s where identity work becomes embodied work. Where clarity settles into your bones.
Where the next version of you finally has room to land.
Comparison, Imposter Syndrome & Becoming the Woman You Are Meant to Be in 2026
Sometimes the written words are just the beginning.
If this post touched a part of your becoming, there’s a full episode waiting for you, a deeper breath, a grounding moment, a reminder you’re not rising alone.
Join Me Inside the Becoming Notes
Every week, I send a quiet reminder, a journal spark, or a grounding voice note to women navigating their own messy middle.
If you want a space that meets you right where you are, no pressure, no performance, you can join here:
